


Ephemeral

by Shianhygge



Series: Amor Sempiternus Duology [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Insecurity, M/M, Other, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sex, Torture, Tragedy, learning to love, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 02:03:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11545155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shianhygge/pseuds/Shianhygge
Summary: A fanfiction that I created in December 2016 based off of several theories I had about Ardyn's past. It would be easier to rationalize his actions if someone he cared about was punished alongside him all those years ago.Edit: 1/9/2018 The sequel, called "Eternal" is up!





	Ephemeral

> ##  _**"He was a benevolent man, kind, compassionate, selfless. But he brought darkness and death upon the world."** _

* * *

 

_1249 AE, Lucis (2005 years before the events of Final Fantasy XV)_

 

With the rise of Lucian power within Eos, the capital, known as Insomnia, was built on the island of Cavaugh, the larger of several islands off the coast of the mainland. Cavaugh had been a prime location away from the neighboring countries of Accordo, Tenebrae, and Niflheim, and far away from the ever-looming infection of the Scourge of the Stars. And although the royal family had relocated to this secure island, it was far from ideal. The area surrounding insomnia was mostly wasteland, with the few fertile fields located within the newly built city walls, and as the population of the city grew, the fields weren’t enough of a food source. As a result, the capital was forced to hire agricultural specialists from the regions of Duscae and Cleigne to help temporarily sustain the crop fields or advise the Insomnian farmers until trade routes could be established to ship more crops to the capital.

Your family had been a long established line of farmers, knowing what was best for the land and the animals through generations of farming in the Duscae region. At the time, many men and women married after they had seen their sixteenth winter, and your parents had expected that the case would be the same for you. Unfortunately, you were nearing your twenty fourth winter and you had still not chosen a spouse. As a result, during the spring of the following year, your parents had received an offer to assist the capital with the few crop fields with payment, and decided to send you in their place.

Upon arriving at the royal capital, you’d been gifted with a small residence located on the outskirts of Insomnia, near the ports where the ships from the mainland docked. For many, it seemed as if you were given the worst home in the entire city. But for you, who loved to watch people interact, and who loved knowledge, being at the only entrance to the city was prime real estate. That location was where you resided for the past four years, watching the people go about their daily lives while assisting with the crops. The people of Insomnia knew you as the Flower Scholar. You were often seen in the crop fields or flower fields reading a booking about whatever you could get your hands on. Most of the time, it was the same book about Eos.

However, among the humdrum day-to-day activities of your life in Insomnia, you were witness to the rise of the Healer when the Starscourge started plaguing those in the capital, who could cure the Scourge from anyone.  ****The Healer… nobody spoke of his real name, so you didn’t know it. All you knew, was what you observed. You’d seen him many a times, entering and exiting the city gates on that pitch black Chocobo of his. You had only heard of him when you moved to Insomnia, but you were glad that you knew what he looked like. It was probably fair to say that you admired the man from afar. Watched as his red-violet hair shined in the sunlight as he crossed the gates, taking his hat off to greet the people with a kind smile. As being pushed around in a crowd never interested you, you were always free to observe the various behaviors of the people. But your interest in the Healer, who went by no other name but the title, overshadowed the people. Perhaps you’ve never heard the man speak, or interacted with him in any way, but his interactions with the people were enough to judge his character.

No matter how rude the people were to him, demanding his services, which, from what you’ve seen from afar, he never charged for, the Healer was always polite, kind, and compassionate. Even if the man returned from beyond Cavaugh looking slightly haggard, he always had a smile for the people who asked for his help, bearing whatever exhaustion plagued his body, and continued to give his services. And it was his kindness and selflessness that made you worry for the stranger. If he didn’t take care of his own health, you doubt that the people would worry about him. People were only interested in the things of importance, and you were only important if you had use. It was cruel of you to see the world in such a light, jaded and cynical, but it was a heavy truth. One that you hoped the Healer was aware of.

It was late autumn of your twenty-eighth year when you were finally able to speak with the Healer.

The day had passed like every other, waking up early to tend to the crops, harvesting the last of the vegetables and grains when needed, then sitting in your usual spot in the flower fields reading your usual book. And there was the usual commotion at the city entrance when you arrived home, the sandy soil kicking up slightly when children ran passed, and the loud chatter of the men and women gathered in the shops nearby.

But then, a child ran through the city gates with an excited trot, “The Healer is back!”

And like a swarm of imps to the unsuspecting traveler, the people gathered towards the gates, where you could barely see the usual sight of the red-violet haired man tipping his hat to the people, a bright smile on his handsome face.

Yes, you confess that the man was handsome, almost to a fault. There was a youthfulness and energy to him that drew you in, like a spell. But on this day, however, with the sun having reached its peak, the heat oppressive, the Healer looked noticeably more haggard than usual. There was a paleness about his visage that worried you just as much as the way his eyes seemed hollow, shadows beneath. And your brow furrowed in alarm at the gathering of people who did not seem to notice the change, pestering him in a flock around the black Chocobo where the man sat slumped. Instead, the crowd cheered, a suffocating force, not noticing that their precious Healer looked as if he would fall from his mount in exhaustion at any moment.

Perhaps it was instinctual, when you started to shove past the people in the gathering, not really caring if you had elbowed someone. You couldn’t stand the stupidity of the situation any longer, your focus only on the Healer, who had leaned to the right, teetering dangerously. The urgency of the situation quickened your steps, now at a full sprint through the crowd. The people had yet to notice their savior’s condition, instead remarking on your rudeness. But to Ifrit with rudeness! The Healer had already begun to fall, and you panicked, pushing through the last of the crowd just in time to cushion the Healer’s descent, falling to the floor with the man’s head cradled to you for protection.

The people surrounding you two had screamed, a meaningless echo of faked worry and very real surprise, if you were being completely honest. But it was the nature of human beings, you thought, looking down at the man in your arms, managing to meet striking amber eyes before they were shut to the world. Alarmed, you brought your head down to press to his chest to feel for the beautiful beat of the human heart. And you could, a soft thump thump against the silk fabrics pressed to your cheek. You lifted your head reluctantly, wanting to hear the sound again, but remembered that you were in a public space.

Glaring at the people surrounding you, having not moved from their positions, preferring to watch, you growled, “WELL? What are you all standing around twiddling your thumbs for? Help me get him indoors!”

Two burly men quickly approached, terrified of aggravating you further, and under your command, carried the Healer into your humble abode as you secured the black Chocobo to the post in front of your home. A young woman around your own age approached you meekly, what seemed to be her spouse trailing right behind, “Will he be okay? Will he get better?”

Honestly, you wanted to snap at the woman in your frustration. First of all you, weren’t a healer yourself, perhaps a cleanser if you fed people nothing but vegetables, fruit, and healthy broth to clean a person’s bodily systems, but you barely did that for anyone but yourself. Secondly, nobody had moved an inch to help the Healer before you, so you bitterly believed that the woman’s concern was about the man’s utility for the people, and it would have been concern born of guilt. But, despite your cynical thoughts, you aimed a determine stare at the woman and answered her questions as best as you could, turning away to enter your home. “He will be. I’ll make sure of it.” Bahamut help the man if he resisted your care.

The men had set the Healer on your cot in the small room where you kept most of your belongings. Nobody owned a proper bed unless they were the royal family. Your cot was made up of the most comfortable of your blankets as the padding, with a thin blanket on top, but it was still a meager place to rest. Now, looking at the unconscious man on your cot, it seemed much more mediocre, laughably so.

Up close, you could make out the light stubble on his face, strong jaw, and smile lines. And you smiled, realizing that the man was indeed as handsome as he seemed from far away. But you quickly shook yourself out of your daydreaming and gingerly touched your forehead to the man’s feeling if he had a fever. Deeming him to be without fever, you pulled back and examined him, finding that he was probably sleep deprived and hungry. Although you wondered how long he had gone without either.

“Probably can’t do much for him while he’s unconscious.” You muttered to yourself, sitting back on your heels, eyes focused on the man’s face. Noticing the sweat and dirt on the man’s skin, you stood to fetch a pail of water and a towel. Quite frankly, you were unimpressed at your lack of ability to help, you sighed, taking his outer cloak and shoes off in order to make him more comfortable before moving to dip the towel into the water, wringing the excess water before carefully parting the man’s clothes to wipe down his face, neck, and parts of his chest, quietly marveling at the man’s physique. But when you decided that you’ve cleaned him enough, you stood to grab ingredients for dinner. You didn’t know the first thing about healing, but you sure knew how to cook. “I hope he likes vegetable stew…”

_**10 hours later.** _

The Healer slowly opened his eyes before closing them once more, comfortable, well rested, something that he hadn’t had in a few days. His surroundings were very dimly lit, the light source coming from a nearby room if he were to guess. And though he was content to lay where he was, a soft surface beneath him, a feather stuffed pillow under his head, and the scent of what smelled to be vegetable stew caressing his senses, the Healer knew that he was not in a place familiar. In fact, he was certain that he was in the home of whichever citizen was kind enough to take his exhausted form in, or he was in the home of a murderous lunatic, though he preferred the former. Although he was quite assured in his ability to subdue an attacker if needed.

Grunts left the man as he struggled to sit, traveling without proper rest and nutrition having taken its toll on his body, which felt sore in various places. You had been in the next room at the time, stirring the cooking pot of stew when you heard the Healer’s grunts of discomfort. Rising immediately, you quickly stepped into your bedroom of sorts, and fell to your knees besides the Healer, arms going to wrap around the man in an effort to help him sit up while wrapping a warm blanket around his shoulders to keep him warm from the cold autumn nights. “You are in a safe place within the walls of Insomnia.” You quietly reassured, slowly pulling back, a light blush touching your features when the man met your eyes.

“And who might you be?” the Healer inquired after pursing his lips together in thought, head tilted in question, the long red-violet hair shifting gracefully, and you wondered how a person’s face could be so expressive.

But it was not the time nor place to retreat into your mind and risk looking like a fool. “Y/N L/N. I hail from Duscae, a pleasure.” You introduced yourself, nodding cordially, not quite sure how to act in front of the man that was literally on a quest to save all of humanity from the Scourge. Should you bow?

“Are you not going to ask for my own?” You’d read in your books once about a man in love with a woman of another status, how he went on and on about what drew her to him was not that she was beautiful or of high social standing, it was that he was drawn to her voice. The man in the book had stated with full certainty that her voice, from speaking alone, could make even the Astrals above cry and the Daemons tamed.  _Mellifluous_  was the word that they had used in the book. A sweet and pleasant sounding voice. And it very well could be used to describe the Healer’s voice, and perhaps if you were being poetic yourself, you would say that his voice alone could heal the ill. You realized that you hadn’t answered the Healer, instead, your eyes had steadily lost focus on his face. The Healer, in fact, had noticed your diverted attention as well, directing a mischievous grin at you when your mind finally came back from your thoughts, “Were you thinking of something nice?” Embarrassed, you hastily snatched the pillow from the cot and buried your face into the fabric, screaming. And when the Healer only laughed light-heartedly, you only screamed more. A hand rested itself upon your head gently, “Now, now. Enough of that. Lift your head.”

“Mfi pwhnt aseh uoer nephf.” You pulled away from the pillow enough to look at the Healer, but the pillow still muffled your words.

An amused smirk grew on the man’s lips, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a closed mouth smile that reached and twinkled in his amber eyes. “What was that? I couldn’t hear.” The tease in his tone should be illegal.

Squinting your eyes at such a casual back and forth, you lowered the pillow and spoke again, a noticeable tone of annoyance present, “I said, ‘I won’t ask your name.’”

“For.” The man’s smirk widened as his eyes flit to and forth, probably taking in your features.

Confused, you slumped forward a bit, eyes half lidded and unimpressed. “What?”

“It’s ‘I won’t ask for your name,’ Y/N.” And despite the dark, you could see the smug grin. You didn’t gratify him with a response, however, simply shuffling away from the man, and towards the room over, where you took a wooden bowl and carefully scooped a generous portion of stew to hand towards the Healer, who had lost his grin at your distant behavior. “I’m sorry. Have I said something to offend you?” the man asked, his brows furrowed and amber eyes shining guiltily as he took the wooden bowl and spoon that you offered him, thanking you quietly. “If so, then I am terribly sorry. It’s simply been a long while since I’ve had good company.”

You couldn’t keep your silence any longer, because the saddened expression on his face was something that didn’t look like it belonged there. So you sucked in a breath and gently explained your actions, eating from your own bowl of stew, “It’s best if we limit our interactions. We won’t see each other again, Healer.”

Hopeful at the start of some form of actual conversation, the Healer lifted his eyes to stare into your own with a curious glint, “But how do you know that we won’t see each other again, dear Y/N?”

“Because you’re important. And I’m not. The usual circumstances.” you mumbled, trying not to speak with food in your mouth. While you believed that the two of you would never meet again after tonight, you still believed in leaving a good impression upon someone. Because it is through other people’s memories that you can live on forever.

An empty bowl was placed on the floor between you two, and you glanced up, watching the thoughtful face of the man, fire illuminating a small portion of his handsome face with a warm glow. He thought with an expression that almost mirrored a pout. His lips were pressed together, and there was a narrowing of his eyes, but while most would find the look unsettling, the twinkle of mischief and certainty in those amber orbs pulled you towards another conclusion. Adorable, you thought fondly, moving to resume eating your dinner.

“Ardyn.” The man suddenly spoke, pulling your attention towards him once more. And on his face was that exact look of mischief accompanied by a happy gleam. Ardyn… you hadn’t a clue as to what the man was alluding to, and he saw it in your face no doubt, for he slid slightly closer to you and held your eyes in his, “My name. Ardyn.”

“Ardyn.” You repeated after swallowing the mouthful of stew. “A rather unique and interesting name. Does it mean anything?”

Glad to hold your attention once more, the red-violet haired man, Ardyn, you repeated in your head, smirked jovially, “Its meaning depends on who you ask. My father claims that it means ‘powerful and complete,’ my mother, however, claims that it means ‘to be easily loved.’ I believe both apply to a certain respect, don’t you?”

You had finished your dinner at this point, placing the wooden bowl down next to it’s twin. Rather coyly, you cocked an eyebrow, “That remains to be seen, Ardyn. Because we are mere acquaintances.” But then you sighed, “And I grow weary. It has been a tiring day, Ardyn, and I need my rest. If you need to stay the night, my cot is yours.” And with that, you picked the wooden bowls up from the floor as you stood and placed them in a bucket of cool water to wash at a later time.

As you moved to lay on the floor next to the fire, Ardyn tutted, “Now, now. I could never take another’s bed.” amber eyes shot towards the window and back, “And I must be going, regardless.” Nodding your compliance, but trying not to show your disappointment in his departure, you slowly moved towards the door as Ardyn redressed. You didn’t say anything when you opened the door for the man, expecting him to leave and never come back, “Well, I shall see you another day, Y/N. Good night.”

You’d waited for him to walk away with his black Chocobo before you allowed yourself to answer, “No you won’t, Ardyn. Because you won’t come back.” You were so firm in your belief that you would never see the kind and handsome man again.

And you were proven wrong within the week.

Perhaps you would have been exalted if it weren’t for the fact that Ardyn had come back on the verge of passing out, a sheepish grin on his handsome, yet paling face. And somehow, his expression was screaming at you, ‘See? I told you that I would see you again.’ This time, you were less cordial, and more yourself, openly chastising the sick man for not taking care of himself as he drank the soup you prepared.

“I find it appalling that you, a grown man, are incapable of knowing when your body has reached its limits!” You fussed, pacing to and fro from the fire pit area to the cot in the other room, where Ardyn sat, a blanket over his shoulders and sipping from a bowl, his hair damp because he had traveled while it was raining outside. “If you are unable to take care of yourself, then bring along a companion, Ardyn.” You stopped pacing to stand in front of him, demanding answers.

After silently licking his lips, Ardyn pouted, “But I prefer to travel alone. It’s so much less fanfare if I travel alone.”

“But sacrificing your health is no way to avoid attention, Ardyn. You’re only hurting yourself. And what reason would there be too much fanfare when you travel?” You tried to reason gently, sitting next to the man on your cot.

Ardyn’s eyes flickered back and forth, debating on whether to speak more or leave the conversation be. He liked you, that much he can admit, and he wanted to trust that if he told you the truth about him, that you would still treat him the same. “I go alone because I don’t want people treating me as something more than who I am. I simply want to be Ardyn the Healer. Or simply Ardyn the man.” The healer shivered in his place and took another steady sip of the warm soup, trying to calm his nerves. “Yes, I don’t mind when people thank me for healing them, but I don’t want them bowing to me, which is also why nobody knows my real name.”

“So… Ardyn is not your real name?” You inquired, slightly confused.

“No!” Ardyn exclaimed, shocking you and himself, “Sorry.” he apologized, taking one of your hands in his, holding it tightly. “Ardyn IS my name. But my full name is… “ he paused, taking a deep breath and hopefully stared into your eyes, “It’s Ardyn Lucis Caelum.”

Your eyes widened and your breathing halted for a moment, taking in this revelation. “ _Prince Ardyn_.” you gasped in astonishment, you would have never guessed that he was royalty given his kind and down to earth demeanor.

Ardyn groaned next to you, clutching your hand tighter in his own, “ _Please_  don’t call me that. Prince Ardyn.” he spoke of his title with disgust. “I would rather you simply call me Ardyn.” Your expression displayed your inner conflict, to show your respect, or to respect his wishes, and Ardyn saw it, setting the bowl down onto the floor and taking your face into his palms, pleading, “Y/N. Please treat me as you have. I don’t want to be treated differently by someone I’ve come to regard as a close friend.”

So you closed your eyes and swallowed. “Very well, Ardyn.”

Another incident occurred a mere week later, with Ardyn nearly losing conscious again. And at this point, you were rather tired of his incapability to take care of himself when he went traveling. Ardyn had previously confessed that he was about ten winters older than you, much to his embarrassment when you only scolded him more, and you were quickly becoming tired and worried that he would end up dead while traveling one day. And you confessed these worries towards your friend as you fed him (his hands were shaking too much to eat by himself).

“Then come with me.” Ardyn suggested, his melodic voice held hope. “If you are so worried about my health, then come travel with me. Otherwise,” Ardyn paused with a solemn look, “otherwise, we may not see each other for a very long while.”

“What? Why? How long are you leaving Insomnia for?” You asked, alarmed at your friend’s sudden travel plans.

“An indefinite amount of time, my dear. I will be traveling beyond Cavaugh, towards the rest of Lucis, and perhaps even beyond Lucis.” Ardyn confessed, and the hopeful gleam returned to his face, “Live on the road with me, Y/N. Your work in Insomnia is almost finished, and you worry about me. So why don’t you look after me yourself?” he then playfully wiggled his brows, “You’ll have the pleasure of my company~~” You laughed at his antics when he continued, “And I’ll have the continued pleasure of yours.” All you could do in answer was hug the man to you because honestly, it was the only thing you’d rather do at that moment.  ****Who was this man that suddenly dropped into your life and made you desire so? But in the moment, held in this man’s strong and warm arms, you didn’t care. As long as he would hold you close, you would follow him.

And within the week, you found yourself on a ship sailing away from the region of Cavaugh, your belongings packed in a leather sack attached to the adorable yellow Chocobo that Ardyn had gifted you, affectionately called Cloud. Ardyn stood next to you, worried that you might become ill from the rough swaying of the wooden vessel as he did on his first trip over the water. A sweet sentiment, if it weren’t for the fact that your companion had forgotten that this would not be the first time you were on a boat. Your family did own a farm in Duscae, after all. But you played along with Ardyn, rathering liking his attention, if you were honest with yourself. The breeze from the ocean, cool, but Ardyn’s close proximity radiated warmth, you wondered what kind of journey was in store for the both of you.

 

Quickly, you realized the answer to that old question you had of why Ardyn always came back from his journeys with less than stellar health. It had only taken you a full day after weighing anchor at the port just outside of Leide for Ardyn to nearly pass out from wearing so many layers in a desert and not drinking enough water. Halfway through traveling to and from the main towns of eastern Leide, Ardyn had run out of supplies, which were supposed to last him a week. You realized, with much irritation, that since Ardyn’s chocobo was black, it suffered from being in the sun much more than a normal yellow chocobo did, and thus required much more water. So, already, the rations were not properly accounted for, but the fact that Ardyn insisted on wearing layers of tunics, was another reason for the man’s less than satisfactory post-travel condition. Once you noticed that Ardyn was about to fall ill again, you had pulled Cloud over to Ardyn and Boushi (a rather strange name for the chocobo, but Ardyn claimed that he had named his traveling buddy after a foreign word for “hat,” but you knew not what language he had referenced), grabbing Boushi’s reigns and tugging so that your group could camp under a rocky overpass and away from the sun.

 

For a year and a half, you would have to look after Ardyn like a mother basilisk because by Bahamut, the man could not seem to take care of himself besides the bare essentials. The famous healer could take the Starscourge away from the afflicted, and bathe himself, but he couldn’t cook for chocobo dung. In fact, Ardyn had nearly poisoned the both of you with berries a month into your journey. He had claimed to know how to properly forage for food in the forests on the rim of Leide. Ardyn had said that he wasn’t stupid enough to eat random mushrooms, promptly citing his past experiences of doing just that on his past journeys, and claiming that he had learned from his mistakes. You had trusted the grown man to forage, trusting that he wouldn’t get himself killed by a feral animal, as you’d been witness to his abilities, summoning his weapons from nowhere to quickly dispatch several animals. You had also acknowledged the fact that Ardyn also knew how to boil water… but upon inspection of the various berries that he had collected, you found that he had collected a bunch of poisonous varieties. After that experience, you left the fighting to Ardyn, and kept domestic work to yourself.

Your companion had long explained what he does and what he is meant to become back when you had started your journey. Ardyn Lucis Caelum was not the first born son of the King, but rather, his elder brother, Izunia, was. And for the longest time after Ardyn was born, Izunia was still meant to be the heir apparent to the throne of Lucis. But that almighty Crystal, which was rumoured to sit in the throne room, had Chosen Ardyn to become the next king only ten winters ago, just as the past kings of legend were chosen. You had wondered if Izunia felt resentment towards Ardyn, knowing human nature the way you did, yet Ardyn had claimed his relationship with his older brother was the same. No resentment. But you found that rather unbelievable. Ardyn, after all, loved to see the best in people.

 

It was around the time that Ardyn had been declared the Chosen King that he discovered that he had the ability to absorb the Starscourge. A complete accident when Izunia had become infected. Ardyn said that he had clutched his ill brother’s hand and prayed to the Astrals, to the Crystal, to help his brother. When he discovered his ability, Ardyn knew that he had to help his people. Thus began his journey. Though you worried. You’d seen what happens when Ardyn helps the Afflicted. He would radiate a brilliant yellow light, a sort of beacon to summon forth the Scourge within the Afflicted, and everyone close enough could see the dark matter within the person shy away from the light, but Ardyn’s light would enter the Afflicted and forcefully pull the darkness out. You had realized after a few times, that Ardyn was not getting rid of the Scourge, he was hosting it so that others wouldn’t be affected. You, however worried for the day where the people discover this fact. Would they still love him?

 

Yet, over the year, as Ardyn absorbed more of the Scourge within himself, you noticed that when Ardyn would turn from you, occasionally, in the darkness of night, you could see his appearance change. But it seemed to change back almost immediately once Ardyn knew you were looking. Dark marks, like black slime, decorated his face, which had been lightly sun-kissed, and his eyes… black sclera and almost pale yellow orbs instead of his pupil and amber iris. One would call it daemonic, but even if it was, Ardyn was still himself. You found comfort in that, but you wished that the world wasn’t so damning that Ardyn had to hide. But he did what he found best, and you would continue to support him.

 

You’d both traveled around the rest of Lucis for a year and a half before you made the journey to Altissia, the jewel of Accordo, in the summer. A city built on water, the very symbol of romance. But your time there, which you had thought you would love, had turned into a time in which you hated with a passion.

 

It was rather obvious that Ardyn had begun to hide something from you, something that was severe enough that, should you so much as prod the subject, Ardyn would clam up and shut down, ending in either a change of subject, denial, or even angry outbursts. You’d learned to not even touch upon the topic, figuring that, with time, Ardyn would open up to you about whatever was plaguing him.

 

But when you both arrived to Altissia, it was apparent that Ardyn would not reveal his problems to you. You had believed that there was some form of trust between you two. That Ardyn could speak to you about his problems, and you about your own. A codependence, if you were being honest with yourself. And at first, you thought that it was a desire of friendship that settled within you. The desire to be close to Ardyn. The desire to help him. The desire for him to want you in return. But the more you assessed your desires, the more those feelings of friendship turned into more, and you knew that you had fallen in love with the kind man.

 

Would you say anything about your feelings to Ardyn? No. Because it wasn’t worth destroying a friendship over. And besides, what you two had at the moment, was almost like being together, right?

 

You would like to believe that. But you started to think differently the more you and Ardyn stayed in Altissia.

 

Upon entering the city gates, Ardyn had been welcomed with open arms and given a free home to stay in, which sat on the edge of the city, right on the water. Altissia was unlike anything seen in Lucis at the time, it’s city stunning on the reflective surface of the deep blue water, and the people beautiful. The people worshipped Ardyn as they did in Lucis, throwing themselves at his feet, singing praises and bringing gifts. And for you, who were only regarded as Ardyn’s caretaker, it was plain annoying how the people bothered you. You thought you hid it well, but Ardyn had noticed it one day.

 

“I’m set to travel around Altissia today to resume helping the Afflicted, Y/N. You should stay here if the people annoy you.” Ardyn suggested, an understanding smile on his face as the two of you sat outside your temporary home, feet dangling into the water. The weather in Altissia was remarkably hot, requiring the two of you to shed enough layers that it seemed you were traveling in the desert once more.

 

You didn’t want to let Ardyn go with the Altissian guides, most of them women, who cantered seductively, flaunting their desirables. But you couldn’t bring your distaste into this conversation. Who were you to decide what kind of company Ardyn took. “Do you need me to come along?” You were worried about him the most. “Can you take care of yourself?” You asked him, the sloshing of the water against your legs an accurate representation of your thoughts. Calm on the surface, but with tidal currents underneath that threatened to destroy that which was fragile.

 

Ardyn merely smiled, the setting sun casting long shadows upon his sculpted features, “It’ll only be a few days.”

 

So, you let him go, taking the time off to take care of the home, living like you did before meeting the man you fell in love with. But, while he returned, the next trip ended up being longer. A few days turned to a week, a week turned into two, and two weeks into a month. And before you knew it, a rift had formed between you two. It seemed as if Ardyn only returned for a day’s rest to replenish supplies before leaving with his guides again, as if he were avoiding you. And it hurt. He had stopped asking how you were. Stopped telling you about his travels. Stopped asking if you would go with him the next time. He just comes and goes, a phantom.

 

Ardyn had been the reason you left the safety of your home in Insomnia. He had been the reason you traveled so far. And now that he barely spoke to you at all. Barely stood in your presence, you wondered if you were truly needed, whether he still wanted you around. Your mind, with its sound logic, reasoned that Ardyn would not have asked for your companionship if he didn’t want you along. Yet your heart, the ever-feeling thing, said that if he still wanted you around, he would speak to you, would stay more than a day with you. And then, your heart realized,  _companion_. You were Ardyn’s companion. Not his lover. A companion is temporary. You were temporary, of little value. You had been replaced.

And the doubt was a dark, endless pit, all consuming, unbiased, cold.  _You were alone._

But you were determined to speak to Ardyn. Or you tried. Especially when  _that day_  was tomorrow.

You wanted to say it as he paced about, gathering supplies for his next trip, trying to get his attention as he mumbled a list under his breath. “Ardyn…” he gave no acknowledgment that he had heard you, so you stood in his path, “Ardyn, I need to speak with you.”

“Ah, Y/N.” Ardyn grinned sheepishly, before moving around you, twirling a bit in his playful nature, “Can this wait until I get back? It’ll be a short trip this time around, I promise.” You moved to say that you couldn’t wait, but Ardyn only gathered his pack and ruffled your hair before leaving, “Keep the home safe for my return, dear Y/N~” He had sung on his way out, the wooden door shutting with a finality that accompanied the drop in your stomach.

 _“Don’t leave.”_  You whimpered in the silence of the empty room, head bowed, shoulders hunched, and face scrunched, biting your lips to stop yourself from crying. But the more you tried to stop it, the more the tears flowed, and the more you collapsed in on yourself, the sole sentinel to your loneliness. “Did he forget?” You wondered in between sobs, “Amicus Amor.” It was a Lucian holiday celebrated one day in the beginning of the winter months. A holiday where you spent the day in the company of those closest to you.

The fact that a Chosen King of Lucis had forgotten about the holiday, was laughable. And the seed of doubt germinated.  _You’re not important to him anymore. You’re not needed. Go home._  And you made the preparations to do just that.

A week later, Ardyn returned to a silent and empty home.

At first, he had thought that you were still asleep, having returned in the late morning. Yet upon glancing into your room, he found it devoid of any life. You were gone, and so were the belongings that were usually on the shelf. Ardyn called for you, shouted at the top of his lungs, yet you didn’t answer. And a panic settled within him. A feeling unfamiliar as he frantically ran about the waterfront home, searching for any sign that you might still be there.

Yet all Ardyn found, was a bundle of pages, bound in leather. The stricken man immediately recognized your handwriting, not as elegant as his own, but quite neat for one not born into wealth. Once he opened the leather bound pack, he wished that he hadn’t. Ardyn was not prepared to see your inner thoughts.

Each page started the same way. A letter to Ardyn.

There was one entry for every day since you had started your journey with him, but while he could spend his time reading your thoughts, his attention focused on the most recent pages. Some time after you had arrived to Altissia, you had stopped writing daily entries, instead, writing every week. Ardyn read each entry from the past three months, witnessing you slowly fall apart within the paper.

_“Your visits have gotten shorter, Ardyn. And your travels have grown longer. It’s been a month since I’ve seen you, and I’ve grown lonely. The people in Altissia are kind, but they do not share the same views as those of us from Lucis. Please come back soon, Ardyn. We need to speak.” **  
**_

_“You left again. This time not even bothering to speak to me during your brief time back. How am I meant to feel in these moments? Should I be happy that you are out there saving the lives of innocents? Or sad that we rarely spend time together anymore? I know that you don’t take me along with you on your travels around Accordo, and even towards Niflheim because I can’t stand the company of your guides, but it hurts when you suddenly don’t bother asking me whether I’d like to see the world with you. I want to say this to you, face to face, but it’s a selfish request, and I am aware of it. But I miss you, Ardyn. And I hope you return soon.”_

 

But it was the most recent entry, which dated a week ago, that alarmed Ardyn, shivers running down his spine despite the warm weather, as if he were suddenly dumped into the cool waters outside. And he found that guilt, sadness, desperation, and anger at himself settled with the panic in his core.

_“You left, Ardyn. Again. Not even a day after you returned, you left again, brushing off my comments that we needed to speak. After all this time, I finally found the courage to speak to you, and you ignore me, running out the door to your new companions. Perhaps, in one of my previous entries, I’ve expressed how lonely it was in a home, alone, and in a different nation, but I’ll express it again. It has been lonely here, in this home, without you. Since the moment we arrived in Altissia, I’ve rarely seen you. You come and you go, leaving me behind. And I am not blind to the fact that I’ve been replaced.  
_

_I’ve been your friend for nearly three years, Ardyn. Three years, we have traveled together. Three years, we have been companions. But companions. That term. It’s a temporary thing, isn’t it? Companions are meant to be replaced. And I’ve been replaced. Not only as your companion, but as your friend. I’ve lost the place by your side. No. It’s foolish to think that I ever even had that position, isn’t it? I’ve lost my use to you. Lost my purpose to stay by your side. You don’t need me anymore. And it hurts._

_Why would I think this? I find myself asking and answering that question far too often when you are gone. If I still held a place by your side, you would spend more than a day or a night at home before you leave again. And at first, I believed you were merely in a rush to save lives. But today, you left again. On the Eve of Amicus Amor. I had thought that we would spend the Lucian holiday with each other, as we did the years before. It was a holiday in which you found great importance, so I had hoped that you wouldn’t forget. That you wouldn’t leave again. But you left, and I doubt that you would forget your favorite holiday. So, one can only assume that you no longer hold the same regard towards me as I to you._

_And for the past month, I’ve been deliberating on leaving, Ardyn. That I should return to the place in which I am wanted. To a place where I am loved._

_It was foolish, I think, for me to have fallen in love with someone that I could never have. Yet, I hoped, that maybe, I could be worthy of you. Worthy to stand at your side as more than a companion or friend. I should have known that you could never love me._

_I’ve started preparations to leave within the next ten days. A long journey back to Insomnia no doubt. But I doubt you’ll be back before I leave. And I doubt that you’ll ever have to read these._

_Goodbye, Ardyn. I hope you live happily.”_

 

The last entry fell from Ardyn’s grasp, and the man scrambled to pick the sheet up and place it back where it belonged, though he stared in disbelief at the words on the page. He brought a hand to the place right above the center of his chest, where it had begun to hurt, and choked out a strangled sound, like that of a man suffocating. The page had been written with handwriting so messy, that by the stains on the page, the man could only assume that you had been shedding tears as you wrote. With a heavy heart, the Chosen King stood at attention, turning his head this way and that to observe the home. Clean. No dust on the shelves, and the groceries newly bought. It seemed as if you had not been gone for long.

With a newfound determination, Ardyn sprinted from the home, hoping to all the Astrals that you had not already boarded a ship bound for Lucis.

_I should have known that you could never love me._

The words echoed within Ardyn’s mind as he ran through the developing city, running past people as they called to him, past his guides, all towards the ports. “But I do love you, Y/N.” Ardyn whimpered under his breath, amber eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone.” he chanted, a plea and a prayer in one directed to you and the gods. Ardyn wanted to tell you what you meant to him. Wanted to tell you how he felt. That he had been in love with you for three years. That he wanted to kiss you whenever you smiled at him. That he only ever wanted to hear you say his name. That he never said anything because he believed that you could never love an overdramatic man child like him. That all this time, Ardyn only needed one word to make him stay with you. That he was a fool for forgetting about Amicus Amor. He wanted to hold you in his arms and beg you to stay even if it meant groveling at your feet. But most of all, he wanted to tell you those three words that the both of you so longed to say, “I love you.” He rounded the corner, pushing past the people who populated the streets, “Please don’t let me be too late.”

Yet past the crowd of people, where there should have been a ship, was merely empty water. And in the distance, Ardyn could see the ships. He had been too late. You were gone.

And on the dock, for all to see, the Chosen King collapsed to his knees and let out a heart wrenching cry, tears cascading down his fair cheeks.  _I was too late._

_~~~~~~~~_

You arrived home to an empty and silent thing, having gone out to the markets to pick up the remaining groceries you had forgotten to purchase that morning. Honestly though, as you surveyed the empty home, and took in the silence, you wondered how foolish it was to hope that Ardyn would arrive before you had to board the ship meant to take you back to Cape Caem in the evening. You noticed that nothing had been touched and slumped forward, a sob making its escape from your body. It felt like the world was on your shoulders, trying to crush you under its weight. And little by little, the pressure on your chest increased, and with it, the tears came, large droplets hitting the floor as you tightly gripped the woven basket’s handle.

And then, arms encircled you from behind, pulling you towards a firm and muscular chest. Though you didn’t dare hope until the figure spoke, “I’m back, Y/N.”

The basket fell from your hand, landing with a resounding thump as your eyes widened and breathing hitched. Your body trembles, and all you can do is whimper and fight the urge to full out sob. You voice doesn’t work, but your body acts, hands desperately coming up to clutch at Ardyn’s arms around your waist. As your tears drop to land on the lightly tanned arms around you, all you could wish was for this to not be a dream.

Behind you, Ardyn desperately mumbles apologies, eyes still shedding tears. He had believed you gone, on a boat back towards your homeland, and it crushed him so much that he had collapsed on the docks in a fit of tears. It was only after he had realized that the entire city was watching, that he had dragged himself despondently back to the place that symbolized his failure. He didn’t even care when he realized that the door was open. No amount of misfortune could overcome your departure. Yet, when he walked through the door and saw your slumped form, back turned from him, all he could do was shut the door and pull you into his arms. Perhaps the Astrals had heard his prayers.

You could feel the tears hitting the skin of your shoulders, but you froze because of the kisses being pressed to the nape of your neck. And you could hear him mumble into your skin, “I’m sorry, Y/N. Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m a fool for leaving you behind, for not speaking to you, for abandoning you in a strange city, for forgetting about Amicus Amor. I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

And you’re turned around in your shock, letting Ardyn take your smaller hands in his, and bring them to his lips. All Ardyn could see were your tears, and he starts to fervently press kisses onto your hands.  _I love these hands, which were scarred and rough from labor. I love them because they belong to you, Y/N. For you have labored all these years for my sake. For my benefit. Ever sacrificing for my ungrateful self._ Ardyn maintains firm eye contact with you, not speaking, but still conveying his words through the intense look. And you are left shocked at his kisses. He leaves no piece of skin untouched, lips soft and caressing your flesh. **  
**

Then, your mind concludes that this has to be a dream. A hallucination. An illusion that your mind has conjured. Something sweet to fill your lonely nights. Something too good to be true. And your crying, which had stopped in your shock, began again. The words left you with a sob before you could stop them, “If this is a dream, then I don’t ever want to wake up… N-not to an empty home.”

Ardyn’s heart broke more. He had hoped that he could mend the hole that he had left within you, but it seemed the wounds inflicted were much deeper than he believed. And now, you were crying once more and in denial, and it was the last thing that Ardyn wanted you to do.  _I don’t want you to cry anymore. Not because of me. Never again._

“It’s not a dream, Y/N.” Ardyn’s voice cracks as he slowly brings his hands up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs trying, in vain, to brush the tears away. The spark is gone from his eyes, and only sadness and desperation remain. But you barely notice as his lips press to yours with a vigor because you can only feel the sensations. They consume you, the warmth from his lips, the press of his body to yours, and you find yourself lost in them, in him. **  
**

Ardyn was as coherent as he could ever be, yet he was equally as lost in you. And the realization that he needed you by his side sent a surge of desire through him, his body reacting by lifting you into his arms, gently coercing your legs to wrap around his hips. His soft lips left yours, only to find them again and again. Each kiss felt like a brand, hot and searing until it fades, but addicting. Ardyn wanted more than just your lips. More than just your body pulled to his. More than his hands on your waist.

He barely realized that he had been walking to your room until the front of his legs collided with the edge of the cotton and straw stuffed bed and his arms gently laid your panting body down. And while he stood there, Ardyn found himself growing hot in mind and body, could feel the love and lust clouding his gaze as he stared down at you, your chest heaving up and down in deep pants, your eyes half lidded with desire. It had been sweltering that day in Altissia, and you were dressed only in a long white tunic, the cloth see through and leaving nothing to the imagination.

Unconsciously, Ardyn licked his lips, nervous and excited as he descended, crawling over you. “This isn’t a dream, Y/N.” The man informed, pressed soft kisses on your lips, “I love you. With every single fiber of my being, I love you.”

It was here, where your body gave you command to act, and you returned the kisses, “This is real.” You muttered over and over again, running your fingers through his hair. **  
**

A kiss is pressed to your lips again, “I love these lips, which have only ever spoken my name with love and understanding.” Ardyn’s hands smoothly glide up the hem of your tunic as he presses a kiss on each of your eyelids, “I love these eyes, which never strayed from me no matter how many times I’ve done something to no longer deserve their attention.” The tunic slides over your hips, as he turns his head to brush his lips over the shell of your most sensitive ear, “These ears, which have always found time to listen to my nonsense.” And as the tunic slides off your body, leaving you bare to him, Ardyn leans down, his amber eyes never leaving yours, to press a loving kiss in the middle of your chest, right above the place where your heart beats loudly. And as he presses his forehead to yours, he whispers seductively, “I love your entire being, this body, mind, and soul, which I wish to make mine more than anything.” Your eyes meet, and he feels that he must ask, his hand placed right above your navel, “Y/N. Would you give me this honor?”

Pressing a kiss to his lips once again, you grasp his hand and bring it lower, letting out a breathy moan when his hand touches you. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Ardyn.” You whimper, sending shivers through Ardyn’s body. “I love you.” And it takes everything within Ardyn not to take you as roughly as he can.

And as he brings you to the edge five times over, there’s always a mischievous yet slightly lewd grin on Ardyn’s face, a joy of sorts, that he could be the one to make you feel this way, that your love for one another could bring about such pleasure. The overlapping of two bodies giving voice to passions withheld for three years, and uncaring of who would overhear. Two lovers reduced to screaming each others names as you came down from that high. But even when both of you are exhausted, you did not part, bodies still entwined, skin still touching, hearts still connected, and him still in you. **  
**

The both of you did not bother covering your naked bodies with the thin blanket, still sweating from the hours of lovemaking, staring into each other’s eyes. It was then, when your physical passions had been exposed, that you and Ardyn finally spoke. After all these months.

“Don’t leave me, Y/N. Please.” Ardyn begged, looking down on you, still out of breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have never left you here alone.” Then, as if sensing that you were about to ask about the women that threw themselves at him, “Those women that traveled with me… They threw themselves at me, begging for me to lay with them, yes. But I never did.” His earnest eyes met yours firmly, and you knew that he was telling you the absolute truth. “I would never! Because if I had, then it would be a betrayal of my love for you.”

“Yet, you’ve lain with others before, correct?” You asked, suddenly bashful that it was your first time whereas it was likely not Ardyn’s first time.

The red tint that seemed to suddenly invade his face baffled you, and your lover buried himself in the crook of your neck. “Efth vwehsnt.”

You allowed yourself a blink, feeling a sense of reversed deja vu, before letting the word slip from your lips, “What?”

Ardyn lifted his head from your neck to give you a pout, absolutely adorable, but still strange on a grown man. “I said that it wasn’t.” A fond expression, the corners of his eyes crinkling just the slightest as his red violet hair dropped to frame your faces. “My mother told me, long ago, that love existed in the places that you least expect. That one day, I would find the person I’d want to spend the rest of my days with. That when that time came, I would want to give them everything that I could offer. So that I could give you all of me, Y/N.” **  
**

“So, you went your whole life without laying with anyone?” It was bewildering, considering that Ardyn will be experiencing his forty first winter that year, but it was touching and ridiculously romantic. At his nod, a sheepishly shy smile on his face, you pulled him down for a hug, smothering him in your chest, “You romantic and sentimental idiot.”

There was a hopeful gleam in his amber eyes as he grinned up at you, his hands resting on your hips, and thumbs rubbing circles. “But hopefully I can be your romantic and sentimental idiot?” You blinked, silent, not quite catching his meaning. The smile left Ardyn’s face, his expression turning serious, “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

And there were tears again, the warmth rising to your cheeks as you bite your bottom lip, “yes…” you whisper before exclaiming it, rolling your bodies to lay atop his, “Yes! I’ll marry you, Ardyn!”

~~~~~~~

From that day on, the two of you no longer stayed in Altissia, the city, a reminder of past events, and, simply put, now that the two of you were engaged, Ardyn simply could not bear to be apart from you. Instead, you joined Ardyn on his journey towards Niflheim, where the both of you were also well received by the people. Your fiance had insisted on visiting Tenebrae, where the Oracle welcomed the two of you with open arms as the famous Healer of the Scourge, and his betrothed, though she was careful to not expose Ardyn as the Crystal’s Chosen King. The Oracle had gone about healing the Scourge within her own kingdom, leaving very little work for Ardyn, but it seemed that healing the Scourge did not have the same effect on her as it did your lover. In the darkness, you could still see that demonic appearance on Ardyn, though he hid it well, but the Oracle had no such ailment. It didn’t seem fair to you, that two individuals blessed by the Astrals, would be so different. But you set it out of your mind. Who were you, to question the gods? **  
**

Though it was relaxing, to be in a city free of the Starscourge, and welcomed by everyone merely for being a visitor, you were forced to journey towards Galea after. Within Niflheim, you and Ardyn were welcomed only as the Healer and his betrothed, not as visitors from Lucis. Ever since the fall of Solheim, and the subsequent formation of the nations Lucis, Tenebrae, Accordo, and Niflheim, Niflheim’s government had grown greedy, attempting to expand its control over independent territories. However, with its limited resources and manpower, the expansion had ceased for the moment. Still, there was a shaky tension between Niflheim and Lucis. And honestly, you couldn’t have left Niflheim sooner. Ardyn, ever so kind and sweet, had no issues towards the nation, merely carry out his objective to heal those with the Scourge that had caused Solheim’s fall. But you were not as kind, as it was properly so, because who else would balance Ardyn’s ever growing optimism.

The two of you did not marry until Ardyn had finished his work in Accordo and Niflheim, taking a ship from Altissia back to Cape Caem. It was good to be back in your homeland no matter how nice Accordo and Tenebrae were (you would not acknowledge the tension you felt while in Niflheim land, you simply could not). And it was on the beaches of what would later be known as Galdin Quay, which you and Ardyn wed, a very private event with none as witness but the ocean, the land, and the skies. The private wedding was held on a rock with ancient markings, and you had insisted not to wed until the sun began to set.

“Y/N. I’m not so sure about wedding at sunset. What about the daemons?” Ardyn held onto you from behind, nervous, though you knew that he feigned worry about the daemons. Instead, Ardyn was worried that he might not be able to hide his demonic appearance for long after the sun had set.

So you sighed, turning around to take the taller man’s face into your hands, the coarseness of his trimmed beard tickling the palms of your hand, and stared at his amber eyes, hoping that they accurately showed the love you felt towards your soon to be husband. “Ardyn. I want to marry you as you are, appearance and all.” His eyes widened, pupil shrunken in horror when he realized that you knew. “Yes, Ardyn. I’ve known about the change for nearly four years now.” Your fiance moves to pull away, but you tighten your grip, “Ardyn, don’t pull away, and don’t hide.” The sun had nearly disappeared on the horizon, now leaving only a faint orange glow on the night sky, and the ancient runes below you start to glow blue. “With this vow, I promise to love you. As you were, as you are, and as what you’ll become.” The sun had disappeared, taking with it, the Ardyn that you usually saw. And in his place, was a frightened man, skin pale, sclera black with eerie yellow orbs in the middle, and black markings smeared all over. But you’re not scared, and you’re not repulsed. Leaning upwards, you press a kiss on Ardyn’s lips, pulling back to mutter, “My beautiful husband.”

A whimper escapes Ardyn’s lips in disbelief before he pulls you into an embrace, kissing you insistently, as if he can’t get enough of you, can’t get enough of how you accept him so easily. And it’s in the soft glow of the moonlight, surrounded by glowing runes, and with the sound of waves hitting the shore, that the two of you consummate your marriage.

~~~~~~~~~

For a year, the two of you live a happily fulfilled life, living in a peaceful part of Duscae near what would become Costlemark Tower. It’s a small wooden house, newly built, but many have not bothered to purchase it because of how far removed it was from the larger settlements, and it included a rather large plot of land to farm on. The year did not carry the same sense of adventure that you experienced while traveling with Ardyn, but everyday with your husband was a new adventure. Each day, Ardyn found some way to surprise you. Whether it be a bouquet of flowers, him learning how to cook for you, or even sensual morning sex. **  
**

But then, the King of Lucis passed away from illness, and a messenger arrived, calling for Prince Ardyn’s return. A calling for a son to bury his father, and a calling for the Crystal’s Chosen King to take his place on the throne.

You expected Ardyn to mourn, expected your compassionate husband to mourn the death of his father, but no tears came. No expression of sadness. And when you asked why he didn’t seem bothered by the news, he admitted to not having the best relationship with his father. In fact, it was his mother that had been of the Lucis Caelum line, and his father had married into the family, and therefore was only ruler because his dear mother had passed away ten years prior. There was a resentment that his father had shown him and his elder brother, Izunia. A resentment of blood that came with being treated like a prized possession rather than a human being. “So, no. I don’t expect my brother nor I to mourn his death at the least.” And Ardyn smiled, stirring the pot of vegetable stew that sat on the fire, “You’re my family, and you’ll always be my one and only when I become king.”

It was nearly a week’s journey by Chocobo and then by ship, Ardyn riding Boushi, and you with Cloud, before you arrived back at Insomnia, which had changed in the four years that you were gone. The walls had expanded outward, with the remains of the old wall being knocked down, and more buildings had begun to rise. You old home, by the entrance of Insomnia was inhabited by a young couple and their child, but you no longer needed a place to stay, linking your arm with Ardyn’s as you two strolled from the stables where you left Boushi and Cloud.

“So what happens during the Ascension Ceremony?” You inquired, matching Ardyn’s easy pace step for step, or two steps for step, considering you were shorter than your dear husband.

Ardyn grinned and placed his favorite hat upon your head, “Well, usually it would be a normal crowning ceremony in front of the people. But, since I was the Crystal’s Chosen King, I’m expected to bathe in the Crystal’s light and demonstrate my worth. Usually the light would burn an individual that gets too close to it, but I suppose in the case of those Chosen by the Crystal, like the kings of yore, I should remain unharmed.” Ardyn clicked his tongue puckering his lips in thought, “After that, the Ceremony would finish, I suppose. And would be King with you beside me.”

You scrunch up your face, “I don’t think I’m fit to help you rule, Ardyn. The people wouldn’t want someone like me ruling besides their beloved Healer King.”

Your husband waved his arm in a shooing motion, “Nonsense! In fact, I think that it would be beneficial for the people to know that someone cut from the same cloth can accurately represent them in court.”

He made a good point, but then you realized with a panic, “But what will your brother think of us?” And your unspoken question:  _Will he like me?_ **  
**

“Oh, I think Izunia will take to you just as I have, my dear Y/N. Though I am loath to think that his charms might be cause for you to leave me.” There was a joking pout on his face when he tilted it down to look at you, so you promptly reached up and pinched his adorable nose, a deadpanned expression on your face. And Ardyn laughed with delight, pulling you in for a kiss, “Right, right. I won’t jest in such a way.” His laughing stopped as he gazed down at you, staring fondly, “You know that I love you, right, Y/N? For all of eternity I will love you.”

“And for all eternity I will love you, Ardyn, my dear, dear husband.” You quietly vowed back, intertwining your hands together as you descended the steps to the Citadel, the guards bowing to the both of you.

Almost immediately the two of you are led through the Citadel, a large building by the standards, with long and twisting corridors, until you came to a stop outside a room with impressive iron doors. Ardyn only needed to knock once before the doors were thrown open by a man who looked to be entering his 50th winter, with greying hair pulled back by a black ribbon, and a sly look within his ice blue eyes. If Ardyn was 10 winters older than you, then this man could sure as Ifrit be your father. At first there was a scowl on his face, unconventionally handsome if you were honest, long and sharp with low cheekbones, a pointed nose, and small eyes. But the scowl disappeared once the man laid eyes on your husband, turning too quickly into a joyous grin, “Ah! Dear brother! It has been too long!” Izunia, then, you assumed, still analyzing the man that hugged your wonderful husband. No. He did not look like Ardyn in the least, you decided.

“And who might you be, my dear?” You inwardly cringed at the use of the term coming from the unfamiliar man. And there was that predatory look that reminded you of old suitors. Of those who would treat you like a possession. And you found yourself caught between giving a very biting comment, and gutting the man. So, for lack of a better alternative, you stayed silent.

From behind Izunia, Ardyn could sense your discomfort and hurried to stand beside you, wrapping his arms around you. “Ah! How rude of me! This, dear brother, is my lovely wife, Y/N. Y/N, light of my life, this is Izunia, my older brother.”

Izunia smirked, and bowed deeply with a sweep of his arm, “At your  _humble_  service.”

Deciding to be nice, you offered a slight smile towards your brother-in-law, one that didn’t reach your eyes so much as it looked polite. “I hope we can get along, Izunia.”

“Oh I hope so as well, dear Y/N.” Izunia responded, that predatory look still in his icy eyes, and your husband must have noticed as well given the tightening of his arms around you and his glare at Izunia. “Oh come now, dear brother, I jest! Don’t look at me like that, it looks too much like mother when you glare at me so. And, dare I say, it hurt my feelings that you could distrust me so!” Izunia pouted, placing a hand over his chest. **  
**

“You would do best not to joke about my wife, Izunia.” And it was surprising the slightly acidic tone that overlaid Ardyn’s usually accepting and compassionate demeanor, but it seemed that you were the cause of the exception.

Your brother-in-law smirked and straightened his posture, face slightly mocking. “Of course, dear brother, how rude of me. You must be weary from your travels. Please rest. I assure you that your room is the same as when you left it.” Izunia waved before retreating into his office, “Big day tomorrow! Rest up.”

The Ascension Ceremony for the Lucian Throne was held in the square just outside the Citadel at the time, a large stone building that paled in comparison to the tower that it would become. The Crystal, a beautiful thing with an obsidian colored exterior, its center exposed, showing the holy glow that came from within, was chained and perched at the top of the grand staircase and above the royal throne, which had also been taken out of the throne room for this occasion. The positioning was very grandiose and dramatic, somewhat reflecting the melodramatic nature that Ardyn and Izunia seemed to have in common. And while it was endearing on your husband, it was quite annoying and slimy when Izunia spoke in that fashion. Now perhaps it was unfair of you to judge your brother-in-law so quickly after meeting him, but something was off about the man, as if you hadn’t pointed it out the day before. But as you stood at the top of the staircase, watching as Ardyn entered the square from a side entrance, waving to the people that cheered and revered him, now knowing that the King-to-be was their precious Healer, you noticed the twinkle within Izunia’s eyes and the glare. It was a glare of resentment, that you were sure.

So you made it a job to keep an eye on your brother-in-law as you stood next to the Oracle, awaiting Ardyn as he ascended the stairs to stand in front of the Crystal. And Ardyn had been correct, the Crystal’s light was beautiful, but in a forbidden and unnatural way, such that you were actively repelled from the white glow. You’d only turned your eyes to glance at Izunia before you heard the pained cries coming from your husband, and your snapped to where he was stood, and it seemed as if the light was burning him. But most of all, to your horror, the light shed away his normal appearance and revealed what lay underneath. **  
**

And then, all at once, a woman, beautiful, with long black hair and eyes closed, appeared as if stepping through the fabric of reality. “You!” Ardyn gasped, pulling away from the Crystal, pained and confused, “But I’m the Chosen King! Why?”

“Hear me O Accursed, for you art no longer the Stone’s Chosen. Tainted and impure, you are, by Ifrit’s Scourge.” The woman’s eyes open, revealing striking and severe green eyes, “You are unworthy of the Stone’s Light.” Ardyn fell to the floor in disbelief as the mysterious woman, no doubt a messenger of the gods turned towards Izunia. “Izunia Lucis Caelum. The Crystal has Chosen thee as the bearer of the Ring. Rule well, with the gods’ blessings.”

Almost all at once the messenger of the gods disappeared, and you ran, kneeling down beside your husband, taking his face into your hands and kissing him, thankful that he wasn’t hurt more by the Crystal’s Light, but also to shield his appearance from the public. Because while you’ve never been affected by Ardyn’s changed appearance, the people around you will not be so accepting. And when Izunia started laughing, you froze, looking at the new Chosen King as he stalked forward, yanking you away from Ardyn, and pulling his own brother up and roughly shoving him onto the edge of stairs, where the people could see him clearly.

You had scraped your palms when Izunia had thrown you aside, but you stood again and ran to throw yourself over Ardyn. “Izunia, stop!” **  
**

But the newly Chosen King did not stop, instead pointing down at his horrified brother with a sneer. “A Chosen King no more! But he is still your Healer, is he not?” The crowd cheers their love for Ardyn, but then Izunia grabs your hair and roughly throws you away from acting as Ardyn’s shield, and you have to catch yourself from rolling down the marble steps. But it is too late, the cheers of the crowd turn into gasps of horror at beholding Ardyn’s daemonic appearance. “But he has lied!” Izunia continued, throwing his hands up in the air as if in mock surprise. “He, who healed you of your ailments, was actually the host, the source of this disease! This man, Ardyn, had taken your kindness and deceived you!” Angry shouts have now replaced the cheers, calling for Ardyn’s execution.

And with horror, you bring yourself to your feet again, running to shove Izunia away from Ardyn and yelling, “Lies! All that you say are lies! He was only helping you all! Ardyn traveled without rest to every corner of Eos in order to purge the world of the Scourge, yet you have the audacity to accuse him of being the cause of it!” Izunia attempts to stand, but you shove him down again, standing to protect Ardyn, “You lie, Izunia! And you are no Chosen King!” You snarl, kicking him before grabbing at Ardyn and helping him stand before trying to descend the steps and leave Insomnia.

Ardyn could only obey your movements as you led him, long since shocked at the events that occurred, but as you are almost halfway down the flight, a call from behind has you frozen. “Seize them! They are to be captured, tortured, and executed! The daemon for his deception, and his lover for attacking the king!”

“No…” You whimper, watching as the people of Insomnia and the guards to the Citadel surround the both of you, pulling you away from your husband.

But you fight back, all fists, kicks, and even biting, but you are still dragged to the center of Insomnia, where the public executions took place. And whereas they have your arms and legs chained together, Ardyn is chained by his wrists and suspended as a group of torturers in black robes strip him of his clothes, leaving him bare for all to see as his appearance shifts back and forth from daemonic to human. Yet he stares at you with love, his eyes begging you to be okay.

The torturers strip you as well, with Ardyn screaming at them to stop. That you have no relation to him, but it’s no use, the whips have been brought out, and one had already made its mark on your back. You bite your lip to keep from crying out, the sting of the leather painful, but you would not show it. You would be strong for Ardyn, who is made to watch as the torturers make their marks, crying out your name in desperation, fighting against the chains and captors, begging them to stop, begging the gods to spare you from this fate. But they don’t listen, no one does. The whips go from leaving wilting red marks to tearing the skin of your body open, blood steadily flowing from the wounds. And all you can hear is the crack of the whip, the crowd chanting traitor, and Ardyn’s cries of horror. You barely notice when the torturers put the brand to your body, marking you on your left rib cage. But you know that this would be the place you died. So, with all your strength, you lift your head to stare directly at Ardyn, his face beyond desolate and soaked in tears, and you smile and say that one line before all the strength in your body leaves you, and your vision fades to black.

_For all of eternity, I’ll love you, Ardyn._

_~~~~~~~~~~~_

Ardyn couldn’t hear you over the cheers of the crowd, but he saw, and he cried, a scream of anguish leaving his throat at your unmoving body. And it’s all he can see. The forsaken man doesn’t even feel the whips on his skin. Doesn’t feel the knives cut through skin. Doesn’t hear Izunia’s taunts. Because all he wants is death. The chance to be with you once more. To live with you in peace. And the man cries openly because the light in his life is gone. **  
**

When the final blow descends, and the knife slices his throat open, Ardyn can only smile.

_I’m coming, Y/N._

And in the background, as Ardyn’s hearing fails, Izunia commands.

“I want all existence of Ardyn erased from time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ardyn sat up with a gasp, feeling around his torso, and then his neck. Finding no wound, he turns to look around, expecting to find you smiling at him with that twinkle in your eyes and very much alive. But the forsaken man could find you nowhere. So he stands from his position to walk around, not caring about his state of undress. “Y/N. Where is my Y/N? My beautiful and loving wife. Where are you?” Ardyn mutters this in a daze, his throat scratchy and broken. **  
**

But then the man finds himself falling, having tripped over something. Ardyn struggles to hit feet once he realizes that he tripped over a body. But upon a closer look, his amber eyes widen, and his breathing shortens considerably. He’d tripped over your body.

Your body, which was still littered with the marks of your torture, and still cold to the touch, barren of life.

And it is then that Ardyn realizes that even the solace and comfort of death has been taken from him.

In the middle of the night, people of Insomnia can hear the cries from the wastelands outside the gates. The cries of rage and despair from a man who has nothing.

> ##  **_"But what could drive a man to commit such atrocities? Despair.” -Shianhygge_ **

**Author's Note:**

> A long one-shot... don't know when I'll be finished with the sequel, but thank you for reading!


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